If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
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