Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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