I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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