I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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