Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
