he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
