Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
