i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
