I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize