WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
