i think my tv is drunk
I think I died a long time ago.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
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