I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
