dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Mom said you looked used
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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