we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
