I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
cat food counts as protein by the way
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
