Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Randomize
