I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
