no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
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