The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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