Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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