She said her name was "party"
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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