So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize