dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
