I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
