Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Randomize
