I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
