How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
if only i could text you this smell
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
