Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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