I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
