Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
