I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize