Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
