Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
