I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
