your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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