And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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