Sry I called you an 8
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
