There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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