i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
