Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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