I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
