apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
So many bounce houses so little time
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
