My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
