You're so nebulous sometimes
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
