sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
