therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
We need to get me chipped asap
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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