so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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