I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
