I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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