Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
