Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
