About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
