Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
