somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
