elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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