He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
