so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
