i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
