it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
