so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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