I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
