His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
