I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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