Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Two words: blizzard sex
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
