New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
