nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
