Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
