girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
