I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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